Infinity Gauntlet Meat Tenderiser Should Cut Steak Toughness in Half

One of the hazards of wiping out half of all life in the universe at random is that you don’t necessarily know if you’ve saved the best resources. If pure statistical randomness is at play, sure, the population that remains ought to be representative. But what if it’s not, and you eliminated all the cows with soft flesh to leave just the tough herds intact? You might just want Avengers: Endgame‘s signature weapon to act as a gauntlet meat tenderiser instead.

That, at least, appears to be the way the folks at Firebox think (found via LadBible), as they’ve developed a big, wearable Infinity Gauntlet specifically designed for punching pieces of meat . Not live meat, we should probably specify. Just the cheaper cuts that you intend to consume, but need to beat down first. This time, being in the Endgame means seasoning and cooking the steak afterward.

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However, if you’d like to think through your culinary plans a bit more carefully than Thanos did his universal one, Firebox has you. They also include recipes, for themed items like Pepper Chicken Potts Pie and Stark Tartare. Yes, they all include meat, but Firebox isn’t trying to rule out non-carnivores completely. “We figured there aren’t many vegetarians/vegans in the market for a meat tenderiser,” a disclaimer reads. “Suppose you could still use it to pulverise a cauliflower or something – go wild!”

At $26.99, this stainless steel near-replica is cheaper than a lot of other similarly inspired collectibles. Plus it’s dishwasher safe, includes internal silicone grip, and comes with a hook for hanging. Thanos may be mad, but your wallet won’t be.

What superhero-themed dish do you want to smash, Hulk style, with a big ol’ fist? Let us know in comments.