The Purple. IN WHICH the guy who comes before āEsqueā shares his deep depth, and then links you to a vid of him as a poop coach.
āYeahbuhWHUH?ā
āKitty Pryde
Dear Friends,
Well, itās been quite a weekend. Someday, long from now, I will even have an emotional reaction to it, like a person would. I canāt wait! But before I become blinded by this āemotionā experience, thereās a few things Iād like to say. Well, type.
People have told me that this matters, that my life is about to change. I am sure that is true. And change is good ā change is exciting. I think ā not to jinx it ā that I may finally be recognized at Comiccon. Imagine! Also, with my percentage of āthe Avengersā gross, I can afford to buyā¦ [gets call from agent. Weeps manfully. Resumes typing.] ā¦a fine meal. But REALLY fine, with truffles and s#!+. And I can get a studio to finance my dream project, the reboot of āAir Budā that we all feel is so long overdue. (He could play Jai Alai! Think of the emotional ramifications of JAI ALAI!!!!)
What doesnāt change is anything that matters. What doesnāt change is that Iāve had the smartest, most loyal, most passionate, most articulate group of ā Iām not even gonna say fans. Iām going with āpeepsā ā that any cult oddity such as my bad self could have dreamt of. When almost no one was watching, when people probably should have STOPPED watching, Iāve had three constants: my family and friends, my collaborators (often the same), and yāall. A lot of stories have come out about my ādark yearsā, and how Iām āunrecognizedāā¦ I love these stories, because they make me seem super-important, but I have never felt the darkness (and Iām ALL about my darkness) that they described. Because I have so much. I have people, in my life, on this site, in places Iāve yet to discover, that always made me feel the truth of success: an artist and an audience communicating. Communicating to the point of collaborating. Iāve thought, āmaybe Iām over; maybe Iāve said my pieceā. But never with fear. Never with rancor. Because of yāall. Because you knew me when. If you think topping a box office record compares with someone telling you your work helped them through a rough time, youāre probably new here. (For the record, and despite my inhuman distance from the joy-joy of it: topping a box office record is super-dope. Iām an alien, not a robot.) So this is me, saying thank you. All of you. Youāve taken as much guff for loving my work as I have for over-writing it, and you deserve, in this our time of streaming into the main, to crow. To glow. To crow and go āI told you soā, to those Joe Blows not in the know. (LAST time I hire Dr. Seuss to punch my posts up. Yeesh!) Point being, you deserve some honor, AND you deserves some FAQs answered. So please welcome my old friend and certainly not-on-my-payroll reporter/flunky, Rutherford D. Actualperson!
RDA: So good to see you, young Joss! is it possible youāve gotten more attractive since we last spoke, and less fungal in odor?
JW: Thanks for noticing. Letās talk.
RDA: āthe Scavengersā is a huge success! Does this mean you have changed the very fabric of existence?
JW: Dude, itās just a movie. Also, yes.
RTA: Iāve seen a lot of a talk about āthe Availersā vs āthe Dark Knight Risesā. How will you feel if youāre eclipsed by Nolan?
JW: Iām glad I made you ask that. I will feel sad. But letās look at the bigger picture, and I canāt say this enough: THIS IS NOT A ZERO SUM GAME. Our successes, whoever has the mostest, are a boon to each other. Weāre in the business of proving that superhero movies arenāt just eye-candy (theyāre eye-TRUFFLES!). People seem intent on setting us against each other, and though Iām proud to be Woody Strode to Nolanās Kirk Douglas, I think theyāre missing the point. Whatever TDKR does on its first weekend, the only stat that matters to me is the ticket IāM definitely buying. Nolan and Raimi INVENTED the true superhero flick, yo. (Special mention to Jon Favreau and James Gunn.) Happy to be in the mix.
RTA: What does this mean for your upcoming slate of tiny independent films/Internet shenanigans? Will they fall by the wayside?
JW: There may be new ideas realized ā I always leave myself open to that ā but my commitment to Wastelanders and Dr H.2 does not waver. Those stories bubble on my stove.
RTA: And TV?
JW: TV is my great love. To tell stories with that alacrity, intensity, and immediacyā¦ Nothing quite like it. I imagine itās not dissimilar to the feeling great poker players have: āHereās what I got, hereās where Iām goingā¦ How to trick everybody into thinking I know what Iām doing?ā [Full disclosure : Joss hates poker. He is probably talking about bridge. But it should apply nonetheless.].
RTA: What message would you give fans of āthe Lavendersā who are not so familiar with your previous work?
JW: āCabin In the Woodsā: still in (some) theaters!
RTA: Is āthe Ravengersā a perfect movie? It did get an A+ cinemascoreā¦
JW: There are very few perfect movies. āThe Court Jesterā, āOne Flew Over the Cuckooās Nestā, āGodfatherā I & IIā¦ The list does not go on and on. āThe Avengersā is notably IMperfect, which makes its success mean so much more to me ā because itās striking a chord that matters MORE than its obvious flaws. Like the team, it appears to be more than the sun of its parts. Boo-yah!
RTA: What do you feel is the greatest achievement of āthe Avoidersā?
JW: Getting āmewling quimā out there to the masses. Also, Hulk.
RTA: Anyone in particular youād like to thank?
JW: [Reads from notecard]. I couldnāt have done this myself. Part of this Saturn Award belongs to Jeremy Latcham, Kevin Feige, and the fine Marvel folkā¦ But the secret ingredient is my closest peeps: J-Mo, who did uncredited punch-up work (carrier battle, yo!), Z-bro, Drew āI am Loki only taller and foppierā Goddard, and Kai, all of whom worked the story with me. Without them (and Jeremy), Iād still be figuring out how the Wasp fits in to this, and where to put Red Hulk.
RTA: Whatās next for Joss āfinally got it right for a changeā Whedon?
JW: Can we not call me that?
RTA: Just deal. Whut up?
JW: I really think we should discuss that nickname, but Iām finishing āMuch Ado About Nothingā this month. If you liked āthe Avengersā, youāll loveā¦ I canāt. Itās Shakespeare. And not in the park. I hope it gets watched.
RTA: Any message to your precious āWhedonesk?ā
JW: Whedonettes?
RTA: Weeble-eque?
JW: Iām not aware of that group.
RTA: Didnāt they know you when?
JW: Iām not sure who you mean. Iām discarding my old fans so I can concentrate on fame, Euro-trash guy-jewelry and my precious āAir Budā reboot. But, dude, donāt print that!
RTA: You have my word.
So, thatās our post! Hope you enjoyed it. Hope youāll continue to carry the banner even though other people may have joined the parade. (Kind of a gay pride/Newsies vibe: sentence accomplished!) Hope you understand how I feel. Cliff notes: grateful.
āHereās to us. Whoās like us? Damn fewā
ā Stephen Sondheim, āMerrily We Roll Alongā.
āIt took a dog playing Jai Alai to teach us humanity!ā
āMe, in that awesome film Iām gonna make.
-j., 5/9/12